Best Lines, April 2015 Edition


I am fortunate in that I get to do what I enjoy for a living, and that lots of what I do is contributive to humanity.  But every once in a while, some turdball would make some statement say something so moronic, that any inkling of faith in humanity would be efficiently shredded.

Here are some I’ve come across as of April 2015.


JD – I need #250K per year to just cover the way I live.

Me – OK.  And how much would you make the company if your yearly salary was $250K?

JD – That’s the company’s problem, not mine.

Me – OK, where do you think the money to pay you comes from?

JD – The company does millions in business every year!

Me – Right, and why should the company pay you?

JD – You don’t know what you’re talking about.  The company makes millions and all I need is $250K.  Why are you being delusional?

Me – “I” am delusional?  What is your qualification for this salary?

JD – I have a BS from CalArt and 4 thousand followers on social media.

Me – You mean Facebook friends.

JD – I tweet, instagram, tumble and now scope.  You know what that is?  I get you on it.

Me – You mean Periscope?

JD – Yeah, haha!  It’s called scope!

Me – …You are kidding right?

JD – What are you talking about?



DK – The Chinese investors just need to give us the money and their censor department needs to just shut up.  They need to just get with the program!

Me – You do understand China knows the democracy exportation agenda?

DK – Democracy exportation, oooh that’s a good one.

Me – OK, then what is it you’re thinking you’re offering to the China audience that they don’t have?  And you do realize the top filmmakers and execs from both countries are in constant contact with each other?

DK – Like you said, it’s about our freedoms, our technology making, our creativity.  They are soulless, they just don’t get it.

Me – You think they need you to teach them how to gentrify?

DK – Well, why haven’t they already then?

Me – You do realize the US is in a state of undisguised oligarchy?  And that we, in the exact definition, is financing the disappearance of our middle-class?

DK – What are you trying to say?

Me – What is it so exceptional about you that’s so relevant to both the filmmakers and audiences of China for them to just give you money and shut up?




“D” is a filmmaker (filmmaker defined as anyone with an iPhone or can afford a RED camera and online access) based out of Taiwan and US.

Screen Shot 2015-04-30 at 5.42.08 PM



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